samedi 17 novembre 2007

Tourists to South Africa


Voici une liste de questions (véridiques!) envoyées sur le site internet d'un Office de Tourisme sud-africain.

Elles valent le détour... tout comme les réponses!


Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres take lots of water...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific.A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not.... oh forget it.
Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegetarian hunter- gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

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